Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
