....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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