whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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