And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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