It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize