i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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