What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
