Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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