you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
