i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
