ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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