I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize