I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
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Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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