So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
