Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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