dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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