Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you told grandpa to call you daddy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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