So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize