so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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