i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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