bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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