I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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