Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
