the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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