I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
