You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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