I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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