i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have fence marks all over my body
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
