I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
