She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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