i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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