There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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