she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
