whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
