Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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