Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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