were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
