Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
