Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
