I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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