I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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