We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
