After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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