Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
