I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This baby is an asshole
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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