i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
