i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
