Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Those nachos came to me in a dream
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
