two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
