Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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