i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just want nice things and good sex
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
