She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
