He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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