We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
