Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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