Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
