I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
